Throughout the ages there have been many of reasons why God’s people have gone astray. One might say because of disobedience or a lack of faith others might say it’s because of pure rebellion and no fear of God. In my life as a disciple I can confidently say I’ve struggled with all of these and I presume to say the number one reason I’ve personally lacked faith is insecurity.
Insecure: Not confident or assured; uncertain or anxious.
When spiritually strong, it seems almost impossible to see why one would fall away. I have realized in my own life the first stage of growing weak is insecurity. Even if I’m having great quiet times and long prayers, what always throws me off is believing lies from Satan and not believing what’s true from God. In this article I’d like to look at the life of a strong prophet of God, Elijah a man of faith and courage. Yet because of his focus on man he was detoured from the path.
“Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, while he himself went a day’s journey into the desert. He came to a broom tree, sat down under it and prayed that he might die ‘I have had enough, Lord, he said I am no better than my ancestors.” 1 Kings 19:3-4
In this passage we see that Elijah was afraid of Jezebel and ran for his life into the desert. In reality, it’s a valid reason to be afraid. Throughout 1 & 2 Kings Jezebel proved herself to be a wicked woman and someone to be feared. In his time she was going around killing hundreds of prophets (1 Kings 18:4). What I can completely relate to is the pessimistic heart that can come from insecurity. We see Elijah say “I am no better than my ancestors” while feeling afraid he immediately let the lies begin to dictate his speech. What’s true is that God called him to be a man of faith. And we see in the New Testament examples of his faith used time and time again. When I see this I think “how many times has God used me to do great things but in my unbelief I discredit all God has made me to do?”
“The angel of the Lord came back a second time and touched him and said “get up and eat, the journey is too much for you.”
It astounds me how even as Elijah is running away from his fears even then God sees potential in him. He sees a man that He’s created to do good works (Ephesians 2:10), in God’s eyes no insecurity is going to stand in the way of His purpose. When I’ve been the most weak, when I’ve been the most reluctant to live in my purpose, God has fed me in the desert and helped me to persevere.
“After the Earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it he pulled back his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
I find this passage to exemplify how the life of a disciple can often be. In our insecurity we often go through storms, earthquakes, and fire. Through each trial I often ask “where is God in the storm?” However it’s not in the storm that we see Gods plans, but rather when the storms are over… in the ‘gentle whisper.’ I can relate to Elijah’s fears and insecurities completely. In the past my fears took me away from the goal, often in turn it led to loss of faith and acting out in disobedience. My doubt had brought me to question what God had made clear. I got to the point where I started wondering if I wanted the ministry, if God wanted me, if He had plans for my life etc. I believe God’s sovereignty allowed me to see how far one can get when we allow the voice of people and Satan rule over His Word. After the storms and the doubt He just had to ask me, “What are you doing here, Samara?”
In conclusion I’ve gathered that as disciples we can’t let our feelings, emotions etc. drive us away from the purpose God has for us. Insecurities lead to a lack of faith and therefore complete disobedience. God is patient and gentle with us knowing we are human, but there comes a point where we all have to be asked “what are you doing here?” In God’s view there is no insecurity that is going to stand in the way of his plans. His will is determined and above our fears his purpose still stands.